Minkchocolates

Got Stuff?

Confidential to the splendidly aromatic woman in the ¾ length fuzzy green coat who sat down next to me at the sushi bar recently.

The place settings at each seat are there for territorial delineation as much as they are for eating convenience. You don’t have to sit so close. I can also suggest the narrow bar is no place to rest your oversized Birken bag. I appreciate that you can’t wear enough clothes to give you the requisite 45 pockets you need to haul all your stuff, but if you don’t know what’s in there, inventory would best be done somewhere else. I get the distinct feeling however, you’re not so much looking for your Moleskin yearly planner as you are pretending to look for your Moleskin yearly planner so you can read my text messages.

I’ll spare you the effort. Here’s the transcript of my digital conversation. Go ahead, knock yourself out.

Shecky: Do marriages end over clutter? My inner neat freak is heading for a nervous breakdown.

Me: All the time. That’s why the freebie section on Craigslist is so popular. Hubby goes fishing, wifey purges. Do you watch A&E? Did you see my wife on Hoarders?

Shecky: OMG, I need to send Mike to the lake. Or have a day off mid-week when he’s at work because HOLY SH*T he has too much crap. Maybe he and your wife are related? Funny they ended up with non-hoarding spouses.

Me: When I first met my bride she was driving a Mazda pickup truck. In the back was a milk crate with five bricks in it. After a year of hearing them slam into the side of the truck every time she turned, braked or accelerated, I finally asked her what she planned on doing with them. She said they used to hold up planks of wood that was a bookcase in an apartment she lived in two years previous. I immediately pulled over and left them on the side of the road.

Shecky: LOL!!! That’s a great story.

Shecky: Mike has an enormous collection of 4 x 4 magazines that he has to keep “for reference”. Like he can’t find all that on the internet.

Me: I’ve had to designate specific areas of the house off-limits. My wife has certain cupboards and closets she can fill to her heart’s content, but if I’m knocked unconscious by falling candlesticks / Christmas fruit cake tins of sewing notions and pinking shears / high school yearbooks / old VCR’s, while trying to extricate the vacuum cleaner, then it calls into question the very notion of till death or serious injury do us part.

Shecky: I tried that but just ended up being the crazy yelling lady. I’m pulling on the work gloves this weekend and loading the truck for a trip to the dump. I love him, but his crap has gotta go!

Me: My wife’s getting a pre-paid storage locker for her birthday.

Me: All kidding aside Shecky, as much as my wife may be predisposed to holding on to more stuff than we have room for, on any given day I can root through every cupboard and drawer, search every shelf and storage bin, rummage through every coat pocket in every closet, and come up empty looking for chocolate. But if I ask her on the odd chance she maybe has a morsel left of something I’ve brought home recently, she’ll smile tenderly, knowing full well she’s got me where she wants me. Of course she has something squirreled away. She’ll send me out into the yard for five minutes while she retrieves it from god-doesn’t-want-me-to-know-where, and revel in the satisfaction that comes with knowing she’ll eventually have purpose for everything she saves.

Confidential to you, my surreptitiously snooping yet ambrosial sashimi eating seatmate, If I were a gambling man, which I am, I’d bet a bag of Bacon in Eggs that I find teeth-whitening chewing gum, a pearl handled emery board, an unopened package of panty hose, half the lipstick aisle from Sephora and a ream of lottery tickets at the bottom of your bag, but nary a piece of what matters most.

Marc Lieberman

Mink Chocolates Inc.,
Mink A Chocolate Cafe Ltd.

Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181

Shop:   www.minkchocolates.com
Tweet:  www.twitter.com/minkchocolates
Read:   blog.minkchocolates.com

Watch: www.youtube.com search mink chocolates

This Easter, Mink for Everybunny

Four years ago, a woman called me from out of country, wanting to buy Easter chocolate for her daughter who was in first year university here. We chatted briefly, and agreed on a nice representation of seasonal novelties for the basket. I learned this was the daughter’s first time away from home, and that the mother was a touch anxious. The university wasn’t that far out of my way, so I offered to personally deliver it.

Without giving away too much of the surprise, I made arrangements to meet the daughter in the lobby of her student residence. It was a gorgeous spring day and I remember the cherry blossoms being in full bloom as I walked across the campus parking lot. I don’t remember too much else about that meeting save for her being a little wary of a stranger bearing gifts.

The next year, her mother called me again a few days before Easter, and told me how thrilled the daughter was to get the treats the year before, and would I mind personally delivering them again. I said it would be my pleasure and we put together a nice arrangement of rabbits and eggs and assorted other chocolates. I texted the daughter and we made arrangements to meet at a popular bakery café not too far from the university where she’d be cramming for exams.

I arrived at the prescribed time to find about 50 or 60 kids, noses buried in their laptops, coffees and diet cokes strewn about, music blaring, and not a clue as to what she looked like. I held the Easter basket aloft and yelled out her name. She came from across the room, shyly and just a bit embarrassed. I wished her a happy Easter, good luck on her exams, and took my leave.

Last year, her mom called me again. By now we were old friends. She remarked how happy she was that we had this little thing going on, a tradition of sorts, a way for her to be close to her daughter while being very far away. She commented on how important it was to build memories, and asked about my family.

Now the daughter was living in a shared rental house, again not too far out of my way. We made arrangements by text, and I showed up that morning on time, yet it was a full ten minutes before she opened the front door. I venture to say she had been asleep all of an hour. Her mascara was streaked, obviously hung-over, perhaps still drunk, a sea of beer cans and empty pizza boxes and overflowing ashtrays giving testament to the goings-on the night before.

The sun was too bright for her to look at me directly, so with head down and hand shielding her eyes the exchange took place, this time with an embarrassment not borne of being singled out in front of strangers, but doing what college kids do after exams, hoping it doesn’t get back to the parental units.

Well, the tradition continues and this year the mother asked me to include a Mermaid’s Choice chocolate bar with the rest of the Easter treats. She told me that her daughter had worked a forestry internship in Quesnel, BC, last summer, and while riding in the back of a pickup truck with another intern, was offered a bite of what she said was the most amazing thing she’d ever had. She of course recognized the brand from three years worth of Easter treats, but never had she fallen so in love with any chocolate as that particular one after just one small shared piece. The mother squirreled away this little tidbit and was giddy at the thought she’d be able to really surprise her daughter this year.

Sidebar: Mink chocolate is sold exclusively at the two Mink cafes in the Lower Mainland, and online, but periodically carried by Bella Flora Studio, a wonderful florist in Nelson, BC, and by my dear friend Shecky at Bo Peep Boutique in Quesnel.

I’m guessing this unidentified intern walked into my friend’s store and bought that chocolate and then shared it the next day with the daughter in the back of a pickup truck on a logging road in the bush, far from school and even farther from home. I got a kick out of the coincidence and called Shecky immediately. I told her the story beginning to end. We had a good laugh, and hung up. Five minutes later she texted me that her husband Mike, who works for West Fraser Timber, the company that the daughter was interning for, not only knew her, but that she was a great gal and likely coming back this summer.

I emailed the mom later that evening, and told her in spite of our geographic difference, the world was indeed a small place. I’m scheduled to make a fourth Easter delivery to the daughter this week. The exchange will take mere moments, and the small talk will still be small, but this time long enough to drop West Fraser Timber and Mike’s name and let her know the chocolate guy is keeping tabs on her.

Marc Lieberman

Mink Chocolates Inc.,
Mink A Chocolate Cafe Ltd.

Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181

Shop:   www.minkchocolates.com
Tweet:  www.twitter.com/minkchocolates
Watch: www.youtube.com search mink chocolates

Would you Buy a Used Chocolate Bar From This Man?

Mink Chocolates is coming up on its sixth year anniversary. Not a week goes by without us hearing from someone that, had it not been for insert name of person here bringing our chocolate to insert name of event here they never would have known we exist. 

This is not surprising given that, as a general rule, we don’t advertise in conventional channels. Our marketing dollars, for instance, support a robust program of community sponsorship through our Mink Cares initiatives, but otherwise, we rely on word of mouth. 

Lately I’ve been thinking it may be time to jump on the celebrity endorsement bandwagon. Here are my top picks for potential spokespeople: 

The Pope 

Now that he and his giant hat are retired, he may want to supplement his pension with a little something less onerous than his papal duties ever were. If I can convince him not to encourage the worlds one billion Catholics to give up chocolate for Lent, the advantages for him are plenty. He doesn’t have to clear it first with Mrs. Pope. The dress code is casual, he can work in his robe. The hours are sensible, no more midnight mass all-nighters. And most importantly, it’s an easy commute now that Virgin Atlantic flies into Vancouver. 

Pamela Anderson 

She’s Canadian, and may not be as averse to working in Canadian dollars as other celebrity endorsers. She needs the money, having just listed her house in Malibu for sale as part of a strategy to generate cash to pay a tax bill. Granted, she may skew more male in her demographic reach, but when she fills out an “I Eat Mink” t-shirt, she won’t raise the ire of PETA or alienate any of her vegetarian friends. 

Christie Clark 

Conventional wisdom has it that the current premier of British Columbia will be looking for work after the provincial election in May. In the same way that Glen Clark’s career was resurrected by going to work for Jim Pattison in the private sector after his sudden resignation from politics a decade and a half ago, capitalizing on her previous stint at CKNW and becoming a radio pitchman for a small local business might be a worthwhile entry point back into the real world for Ms. Clark. It might be necessary, however, to run a few focus groups and do some polling first. 

My Buddy Fred 

Because Lance and Tiger have lost their credibility, Chumlee’s loveable but not exactly a role model and William Shatner is over-exposed. Fred’s in the fashion business, and has been known to hang with hipsters. He has that sort of je ne sais quoi and quirky sense of humor that helped land Seth MacFarlane the Oscars hosting gig, without the misogyny and sexism that will unland him any chance of future Oscar hosting gigs. And if I was a gambling man, which I am, I’d venture to say he’d work for chocolate, which is about the extent of this year’s advertising budget. 

Marc Lieberman

Mink Chocolates Inc.,
Mink A Chocolate Cafe Ltd. 

Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181

Shop:   www.minkchocolates.com
Tweet:  www.twitter.com/minkchocolates
Read:   blog.minkchocolates.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/minkchocolates
Watch: www.youtube.com search mink chocolates