Cold nose, warm heart
Tuesday, November 26, 2013What mama?
I’m OK
Actually I’m a little bored
You want me to go outside and play?
But it’s cold outside
None of my sweaters fit anymore
The one the old lady with the hairy nose made for me?
It smells like dentures
I can’t breathe when she squeezes me so hard
Oh alright
But I won’t have any fun outside, guaranteed
I need two grilled cheese sandwiches
I’m going to have lunch outside with Thomas
He’s my new friend
And another sweater
He’s cold too
He doesn’t have any clothes at all
He’s a snowman
I’m going to marry him
Can we come inside and play in my room?
Oh don’t worry. I’ll take care of him
He can sleep in the bathtub
We can turn off the heat
Dada can get more ice from the gas station
I don’t need any more baths
Ever
I thought you loved me
I bet Hannah’s mama would let her keep Thomas
Pleeeeease!
Not fair.
Just sayin’
Oh, alright.
Can I have a dog?
Marc Lieberman
Mink Chocolates
Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181
Would you Buy a Used Chocolate Bar From This Man?
Tuesday, February 26, 2013Mink Chocolates is coming up on its sixth year anniversary. Not a week goes by without us hearing from someone that, had it not been for insert name of person here bringing our chocolate to insert name of event here they never would have known we exist.
This is not surprising given that, as a general rule, we don’t advertise in conventional channels. Our marketing dollars, for instance, support a robust program of community sponsorship through our Mink Cares initiatives, but otherwise, we rely on word of mouth.
Lately I’ve been thinking it may be time to jump on the celebrity endorsement bandwagon. Here are my top picks for potential spokespeople:
The Pope
Now that he and his giant hat are retired, he may want to supplement his pension with a little something less onerous than his papal duties ever were. If I can convince him not to encourage the worlds one billion Catholics to give up chocolate for Lent, the advantages for him are plenty. He doesn’t have to clear it first with Mrs. Pope. The dress code is casual, he can work in his robe. The hours are sensible, no more midnight mass all-nighters. And most importantly, it’s an easy commute now that Virgin Atlantic flies into Vancouver.
Pamela Anderson
She’s Canadian, and may not be as averse to working in Canadian dollars as other celebrity endorsers. She needs the money, having just listed her house in Malibu for sale as part of a strategy to generate cash to pay a tax bill. Granted, she may skew more male in her demographic reach, but when she fills out an “I Eat Mink” t-shirt, she won’t raise the ire of PETA or alienate any of her vegetarian friends.
Christie Clark
Conventional wisdom has it that the current premier of British Columbia will be looking for work after the provincial election in May. In the same way that Glen Clark’s career was resurrected by going to work for Jim Pattison in the private sector after his sudden resignation from politics a decade and a half ago, capitalizing on her previous stint at CKNW and becoming a radio pitchman for a small local business might be a worthwhile entry point back into the real world for Ms. Clark. It might be necessary, however, to run a few focus groups and do some polling first.
My Buddy Fred
Because Lance and Tiger have lost their credibility, Chumlee’s loveable but not exactly a role model and William Shatner is over-exposed. Fred’s in the fashion business, and has been known to hang with hipsters. He has that sort of je ne sais quoi and quirky sense of humor that helped land Seth MacFarlane the Oscars hosting gig, without the misogyny and sexism that will unland him any chance of future Oscar hosting gigs. And if I was a gambling man, which I am, I’d venture to say he’d work for chocolate, which is about the extent of this year’s advertising budget.
Marc Lieberman
Mink Chocolates Inc.,
Mink A Chocolate Cafe Ltd.
Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181
Shop: www.minkchocolates.com
Tweet: www.twitter.com/minkchocolates
Read: blog.minkchocolates.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/minkchocolates
Watch: www.youtube.com search mink chocolates
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Ten Things That Dawned on me Today
Thursday, June 21, 20121. Serving chocolate fondue at your child’s birthday party in the room with the white carpet is fine if you have an unused gift certificate from Coit.
2. Throwing out the question, “Don’t you want to save some chocolate for your sister?” is the definition of rhetorical.
3. If you unwrap a milk chocolate bar and you see the face of Jesus, it’s moldy. If it’s dark chocolate, check that you’re not in heaven already.
4. Based on my chocolate consumption, I’m not a glutton. I’m a researcher.
5. The odds of my going to a chocolate store for a chocolate bar and only walking out with a chocolate bar are a million to one.
6. If you own a chocolate shop, raiding your kid’s loot bag the day after Halloween is acceptable only if you’re in a full body cast and no one will drive you to work.
7. I’m my own best friend because all this chocolate belongs to me.
8. In the event of a house fire, I keep at the ready a box with important documents, the family photo albums, and a clear path to the baking drawer.
9. Carpe diem. Eat chocolate as if it were the last time you could, because one day it will be.
10. If the bathroom door is locked and the dog is barking and you’re missing a full batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, it’s safe to assume I escaped out the window and am hiding at Skelly’s house.
Marc Lieberman
Mink Chocolates Inc.,
Mink A Chocolate Cafe Ltd.
Call the store: 604.633.2451
Call my mobile: 604.376.3464
Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181
Shop: minkchocolates.com
Tweet: twitter.com/minkchocolates
Join: facebook.com/minkchocolates.van
Read: blog.minkchocolates.com
Watch: youtube.com/user/minkchocolates
In Person: 863 Hastings Street West, Vancouver, BC V6C 3N9
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