Archives for March 2012
Sunday. Fred texts me and asks if I’ve ever been to Fran’s Chocolates in Seattle. There for the weekend, he experienced firsthand her amazing salted caramels. Apparently too, the University Village Mall was smoking busy, and Fred smelled opportunity.
“You should open there. It was a gong show of activity, license to print money” he said.
“It’s another country. Makes for a tough commute,” I replied.
Monday. Fred calls me up to say I should open a Mink in the Yorkdale area of Toronto.
“Strategically that would be a strong move,” he says.
“Three time zones can be just as challenging as America,” I said.
“No doubt,” he replied, “but what a success it would be.”
Fred rivals only my wife for unbridled optimism. He’s long since abandoned his gig as a Telly Savalas lookalike to focus instead on endorsement deals he’s sure to come from an appearance on The Real Housewives of Vancouver.
“You need product placement on that show,” he says.
“Is anybody really going to watch it?” I ask.
“One night, instead of Duck Dynasty or Storage Wars, watch an episode and see for yourself.”
“At least those Duck Dynasty guys are self-made. I’m not sure you can say the same for any of the Housewives.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Fred asks. “Any one of them could just as easily have married less than rich.”
Tuesday. Instead of setting my PVR to record the Real Housewives of Vancouver, because of the drops in my eyes from recent laser surgery, I record a British sitcom called Hardware. It’s a show where the employees of a hardware store hang out in a next door coffee shop and wisecrack about their customers, and occasionally hit on chicks.
I get off the couch during a commercial, and forage through the baking drawer, looking for chocolate, when my neighbor Skelly calls.
“Say, gov’nor, fancy a road trip to see the Mariners swing the hickory sticks?”
Ever since wining $150 on a Scratch ‘n Win, he’s been feigning a British accent, and acting like I’m supposed to believe his man-servant is out on an errand leaving him, Skelly, to make his own phone calls.
“You mean baseball in Seattle?” I clarify. “If it’s a weekend game, count me in.”
“Saturday afternoon. Down and back the same day.”
“OK, but conditional on stopping at Fran’s,” I say. “Got a hankering for salted caramel.”
“Jolly good, mate. Then you drive. You can write off the commute.”
Mink Chocolates Inc.,
Mink A Chocolate Cafe Ltd.
Call the store: 604.633.2451
Call my mobile: 604.376.3464
Call toll free: 1.866.283.5181
In Person: 863 Hastings Street West, Vancouver, BC V6C 3N9